Not sure about how this turned out but thought it was worth posting just so I could point out what a good “Captain Black” Sebastian Coe would make…

Well, this was relevant around 6 or 7 days ago but there’s been a granny tax and an attack on abortion rights since then! *sighs*

Was supposed to go up yesterday but I was distracted. Still, Merry Christmas, everyone!!

Gasp! I updated!

Pretty obvious joke but hey, it’s something, right? Actually, I pretty much stole this from the far more talented Beau Bo d’Or (check out his work here). That logo in the bottom right isn’t my work either (nor is the George logo, obviously).

Finally, if perhaps you think Asda are being hard done by, I remind you of this.

Rich.

Of course, this is utter conjecture as to the difficulties faced by a man with a hairy back…

Although I hate missing updates, if I had drawn this last week, it would have been entirely different. I’m pleased with the way it turned out!

So I was playing football the other day and, whilst I bravely* leapt to head a ball clear, an opponent underestimated my height advantage and headed a large proportion of my face. My face is mostly nose, so you can imagine the mess it made. To be honest, there wasn’t much in the way of bruising, as implied above. What there was, was blood. Oh, so much blood!

So once play was stopped, my team-mates gathered around to see how I was and – in the absence of a first aid kit – offer various bits of advice while looking a little bit horrified. While I wasn’t in much pain, the torrent of blood had been streaming from my proboscis for much longer than I’d have liked and I was looking for a bit of reassurance. I thought I’d lighten the mood and tell a few jokes, as is my want, to get the guys laughing and,  in turn, settle me down. Instead of laughing and joining in, they continued to look grossed out by my bloodstained visage and quietly murmur things like, “there’s a lot of blood there, y’know” and, “yeah, a lot of blood.”

Thanks guys!

*Stupidly

Hey look! I managed an update!!

Hopefully I was channelling the legendary (in some circles) Mr Biffo whilst excreting this strip from my comic gland. See some of his work along these lines, helpfully collected here!

This is assuming, of course, that Nick Clegg isn’t a swindling arse-burger who’s sold the public sector down the river for a shot at electoral reform….

Straight forward, this. Although it’s fair to say I’ve blatantly been reading Ratfist.